I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
When did angry sex become our thing?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
