i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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