I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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