It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
