he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
farters have to be the big spoon...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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