I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
