you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
