You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
