I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you would pick up someone in the library
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
