She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
