I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
