Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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