I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize