I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
