I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
His nipple licking is glorious
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