Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
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Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
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CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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