I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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