Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
