Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
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He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
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It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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