I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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