Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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