I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
