she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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