you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
