her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Even my vagina gasped.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
