You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hate all girls vehemently.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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