Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
