I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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