it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
