We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
only if we run a train.
done.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
