cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize