I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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