did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Drunk is not a location!
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
