Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
