Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
The air taste purple.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
