id be glad to
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
