i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
