Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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