I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
