he puts the penis in happiness.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
