I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just had sex on a roof
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
