I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
