Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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