I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize