hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
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Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
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She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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