My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
