She said her name was "party"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
