Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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