I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
