It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
