I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
