You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
