Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.

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  (484): So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention. http://tfl.nu/x7xj
  Replies (45) Good night (4555) Bad night (705)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5

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  (352): I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5 http://tfl.nu/tk6f
  Replies (51) Good night (5680) Bad night (782)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.

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  (703): I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single. http://tfl.nu/3gnr
  Replies (70) Good night (1207) Bad night (6678)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up

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  (417): you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up http://tfl.nu/tq8k
  Replies (14) Good night (3314) Bad night (1752)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.

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  (303): Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel. http://tfl.nu/te56
  Replies (10) Good night (6701) Bad night (1050)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano

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  (210): I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano http://tfl.nu/qhs9
  Replies (23) Good night (1117) Bad night (6254)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He violated my cat. I was not impressed.

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  (207): He violated my cat. I was not impressed. http://tfl.nu/2ip6
  Replies (22) Good night (930) Bad night (5789)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?

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  (308): What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts? http://tfl.nu/w182
  Replies (21) Good night (8883) Bad night (1094)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.

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  (915): I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner. http://tfl.nu/j2to
  Replies (5) Good night (3180) Bad night (945)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen

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  (814): DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen http://tfl.nu/glfa
  Replies (5) Good night (880) Bad night (2230)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?

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  (586): Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon? http://tfl.nu/3p6a
  Replies (2) Good night (2302) Bad night (363)
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  (530): View more from California

  I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.

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  (530): I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing. http://tfl.nu/7jie
  Replies (6) Good night (1035) Bad night (302)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.

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  (902): I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom. http://tfl.nu/lro3
  Replies (1) Good night (457) Bad night (857)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you

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  (904): All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you http://tfl.nu/8984
  Replies (2) Good night (364) Bad night (905)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.

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  (908): The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling. http://tfl.nu/4o2r
  Replies (2) Good night (515) Bad night (199)

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