Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
