Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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