Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.

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  (480): So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction. http://tfl.nu/bt6f
  Replies (54) Good night (809) Bad night (4366)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.

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  (816): You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses. http://tfl.nu/7wdn
  Replies (50) Good night (1059) Bad night (4394)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life

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  (856): We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life http://tfl.nu/wuon
  Replies (12) Good night (3760) Bad night (598)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?

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  (651): I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl? http://tfl.nu/nlrb
  Replies (38) Good night (6681) Bad night (1718)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.

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  (217): Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls. http://tfl.nu/z40q
  Replies (16) Good night (4456) Bad night (1192)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.

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  (860): Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it. http://tfl.nu/t1oh
  Replies (15) Good night (2437) Bad night (929)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.

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  (417): I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/6bqy
  Replies (16) Good night (4984) Bad night (1108)
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  (310): View more from California

  Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?

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  (310): Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children? http://tfl.nu/23ha
  Replies (12) Good night (2922) Bad night (964)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.

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  (253): I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board. http://tfl.nu/lkp6
  Replies (5) Good night (675) Bad night (1476)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys

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  (240): i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys http://tfl.nu/z1wp
  Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (953)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.

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  (847): Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite. http://tfl.nu/nf89
  Replies (3) Good night (1028) Bad night (550)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance

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  (+44): Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance http://tfl.nu/2zgm
  Replies (2) Good night (860) Bad night (276)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point

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  (301): All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!" (301): I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point http://tfl.nu/5hj0
  Replies (1) Good night (622) Bad night (285)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!

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  (843): Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs! http://tfl.nu/zm1r
  Replies (0) Good night (379) Bad night (244)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.

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  (856): We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'. http://tfl.nu/lxqe
  Replies (0) Good night (471) Bad night (187)

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