1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I still have a little drunk in my system
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
