Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
