Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
