I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
