i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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