I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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