Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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