I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
