his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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