they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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