i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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