You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
