as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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