I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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