We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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