the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
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LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
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And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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