I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
