yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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