My sheets look like a crime scene.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
